Pirate hat guarantees Halloween merriment

How about a quick look back to the last day of October, while wishing the rest of November can stay as nice as this week has been.

Who you gonna be?

So, have you stowed away the Halloween costumes for the year, or are there still parties this weekend since it’s still close to the 31st? And a better time to have a party than on a Wednesday night. Most “grown-ups” are probably scoffing at the idea, not admitting out loud that they have a Halloween costume, but I don’t think the day of celebration from this week is a “kids only” affair. How else would you explain some of the elaborate yard decorations that are beginning to rival Christmas for complexity? And in front of houses with no kids.
Another tip for me was a visit last Saturday to an Omaha store that specializes in party supplies and costumes. There was quite the crowd in the store, and a good share of it was milling around far from any kids’ costumes. These were adult-sized people searching for adult-size costumes.

Granted, I had a good excuse to be there. My wife and I just wanted a couple of little things to don simply for the entertainment of the trio of grandnephews that invited us to their house for a party. Well, OK, maybe it was their mom who invited us, but surely coming in costume might help snap a return invite to next year’s party.

It was hard to get a sense of what was most popular amongst the costume-searching adults. Plus, let’s face it, this was the Saturday before Halloween. Most were probably desperate to find something at the last minute for a party that night. Deep originality and a perfect fit start to go out the window when two events were fast approaching: the party to which they were going, and kickoff of the Husker game.

Plus, I seemed to get the impression many of the males in the crowd were there mainly to stay on the good side of their female shopping companions. Their selections were fast approaching the “anything you say, dear” alert level. Fortunately for all involved, I didn’t overhear any of them being asked, “Does this costume makes me look fat?”

Hopefully, they all found something even close to as fetching as my pirate hat, eye patch and sword. If not, there’s always next year.

More treats for me

I wonder if I can get the NSAA, the governing body that oversees high school activities in the state, to pay for a health club or gym membership for me. It’s a bit of a stretch to think they might, so I might have to sue. I think there have been any of a number of more frivolous lawsuits.

As inevitably seems to happen, they scheduled a round of the high school football playoffs to fall on Halloween night. I needed to go to one of the area games. I was home briefly after work to quickly change clothes, scarf down dinner in a bite or two and head out the door for the game. Prior to leaving at 6:15 — no trick-or-treaters at the door. After getting home from the game — again, no trick-or-treaters. But let’s face it, most anyone still out after 9:30 you probably really don’t want ringing your doorbell.

Consequently, we have a cupboard full of four varieties of Halloween candy. And if there’s chocolate in the house, I’m eating it. I figure within about the next week or so I should be tipping the scales in the 400-pound range. That is if I can clear myself from the mountain of candy wrappers around me to get to the scale in the first place.

Oh sure, I could maybe take the candy to work. But did I not mention all four varieties of treats were some type of chocolate? It would never make it out the door.

So curse you, NSAA, and your Halloween night games. Just let me know where you want me to sign up to work it all off.

Meanwhile I’ll be at a game again Tuesday. There’s nothing else going on then, is there?

Russ Batenhorst

Don't expect to detect a common topic or theme in Russ Batenhorst's weekly column in the Hastings Tribune. Usually it's whatever slice-of-life observation pops into his head just in time to make the deadline for it to appear each Friday.

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