It’s the big stuff that drains your energy and makes you want to curl up and hibernate with the bears.
It’s the little stuff that enriches your life when shared with that someone important in your life.
It’s not the big stuff that is the worst when your other half dies.
It is not being able to tell him about the baby bunny nest in the back yard, the newest flavor in an iced latte, the butterfly that perched on your shoulder earlier in the day.
I never realized how often in a day I looked for my husband of 61 years to tell him about some insignificant happening — nothing important, just something we could laugh about, talk about or simply shake our heads about.
He was gone from our home only moments when our hospice nurse took us outdoors to gather our thoughts.
We had just sat down when a hummingbird flew in our midst taking a few seconds to pause in front of each of us as if to say, “He is gone, but it will be okay.”
It was one of those wonderful moments that I wanted to share with him.
He would have responded with a smile and/or a comment.
Since then, there have been many moments that I wanted to tell him about, but he isn’t there to laugh or respond in some meaningful way.
I want to show him the beautiful yellow roses in full bloom down the street and the bird’s nest in the tree at the side of the house.
I want him to know that our youngest daughter went back to work last week and that she helped a friend save a baby calf. I want him to know two grandsons graduate this month despite no big party plans.
I want to show him the dozens of cards filling our mailbox with words of kindness, thoughtfulness and love.
I want him to see the words written about the kind of man, the kind of friend, the caring soul others thought he was and watch a slow growing sign of embarrassment.
I talk to him each day, sometimes in frustration when I can’t find an important paper or a file, but it is when I have the fun things, the insignificant things to tell him or show him when I miss him the most.
It really is about all the little stuff.